To Live Again
Chloe has the perfect life or so everyone thinks.
She tried to leave her past behind, but it follows her like a dark shadow. Drowning in guilt, she's dying to live, but sees no way out. So she tries to fool herself and everyone else into believing she is fine.
But Jayson sees through the act that Chloe puts up for everyone else and he's going to do everything in his power to help her to live again.
Can Chloe let go, or will that night forever ruin her future?
Excerpts (Please only use one)
I feel myself starting to wake up; it’s that time between sleep and waking where you are still sleepy, but mostly aware of your surroundings. It’s dark in Jayson’s room, but it’s the type of darkness that occurs at the night’s latest time, right before daylight begins and the sun comes up.
Looking over at him, I can see that he sleeps the sleep of a person peaceful with himself: there’s no muttering, twitching, all of the things I do when I’m asleep. A smile forms on my lips because I realize that I did none of that last night; of course, it probably helped that Jayson put me in a sex coma.
As I start to move around, I feel sore, sticky, but extremely blissful. I probably should have cleaned up afterwards, but sex coma, remember? Realizing that I need to go to the restroom like last year, I try to get out of bed without waking him. Once I’m up and moving, I see the clock…its 4:12 AM…I think my cheeks are about to crack from grinning because it doesn’t say 5:48. That has to be some sort of progress and closure. All I can think of is soon as I’m done...I’m looking in his mirror!
Looking bewildered at my sudden change of heart, she asks, “Why did you make me stop?”
I look at her beautiful face and I know this is it; I’m letting her go.
Trying to keep my voice from cracking, I say, “Because I can’t do what you did to me. This was a mistake for me to come here. It’s like I said in my voicemail…I love you, but I hate you more.”
I pull her to me and let myself feel her body up against mine one more time. I lean down and kiss her cheek and tell her, “Have a good life…that’s what I want for you. I want for you to find peace and start living…it just can’t be with me.”
More and more tears fall from her beautiful eyes and I know if I don’t get out of there, I’m going to cave in. I turn away from her, walk to the door and open it, knowing I’m walking away from the girl that would have been my wife, the mother of my children, and all the other important parts of my life. My heart hurts, my gut burns, and I feel like my head is splitting in two. Still hearing her cry, I shut the door and walk down the stairs to my truck. I know this is for the best…for both of us. So, why do I feel like my other half died and I’m left to be in this world alone?
.Turning towards me, she looks into my eyes and I tell her, “One day, I’m going to marry you. You’re going to be a social worker and I’m going to be an ER doctor. We’re going to have at least two or three kids that are going to make us crazy, but we’re going to love them like there’s nothing more important in life. I’m going to buy you a house on the water because I know how much you love it and we are going to be happier than you ever dreamed you could be. And of course, I’m going to fuck you every day, maybe twice. Most likely twice because one of those times, I’m going to be making love to you, not just fucking you. But, more importantly, I’m going to be loving you. You will never be lonely again and I’ll love you until I take my last breath.”
She smiles tearfully at me and says, “I’m going to love that house on the water and those kids that have their daddy’s pouty look when he doesn’t get his way. I’m going to cook for you every day even when I’m working. If you’re working a late hospital shift, I’ll bring you some dinner so you won’t be hungry. And, if your work interferes with the fucking/lovemaking schedule, we’ll just have to make sure to find an empty room at the hospital. But, most of all, I’ll be loving you. I’ll love you forever and if you were to go before me, when I get there, I’ll find you and love you some more.”
I pull out my phone and click on my Spotify playlist. When I find the song I’m looking for, I turn it on, pull her to her feet, and wrap my arms around her. The song, “All of Me,” by John Legend plays and my arms tighten around her. She lays her head on my shoulder and we dance right there in our own little world. I sing softly in her ear the words from the song that talk about all of me loving all of her.
Though the song clicks off, we still stand there holding on to each other.
She looks at me and asks, “This is really happening, isn’t it?”
I kiss her lightly and say, “It is.”
Melody Dawn is a contemporary romance author residing in the southern part of the US. She started reading romance novels when she was a teenager and became addicted to Happily Ever After’s. She got her own HEA when she met her soulmate 20 years ago and they have been together ever since. They have two furbabies who think they are Kings of the Castle and require a ton of attention. When she is not reading or writing, she loves to refurbish old furniture into new pieces, scrapbook, and most of all spend time with her main guy.
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